Thursday, 14 December 2006

Tip of the Slongue #1

Yup, I've been lazy in updating recently. My life has been hectic this week.

I'm here to amuse me as well as to attract readers. So I'll introduce you to "Tip of the Slongue", a parody script that deals with misunderstandings between superheroes.

I thought Identity Crisis was excremental. Sue Dibny's death was traumatic enough without adding in a rape there too. It was supposed to change Dr. Light from the light-hearted buffoon he was into a scary villain again. Except that since then, he hasn't been able to shut up about the rape. Instead of making him scary, Dr. Light is all about rape. It's the only thing anyone remembers about him.

Rape is a mark of badass. If a comic portrays rape then it is "adult". But I definitely thought there was a sickening, and quite childish glee, in how Sue Dibny's rape was shown. I could almost see the creators getting off on it. I found the idea behind the serious very sexist and insulting. I'm sure that nobody needs another post on why rape is a bad thing and using it as a plot for a poor storyline just to make it edgy is misogynist and cheap.

But worst of all is the effect it's likely to have on the female Dr Light:

SCRIPT:

DR. LIGHT (female): 'Hi, I'm Doctor Light. I'd like to join your team.'

SUPERMAN: 'So, uh, you got a body-swap?'

DR. LIGHT: 'No, I'm-'

BATMAN: 'We hear you're very fond of rape as a statement. Or just as performance art. Why would you want to join a Super-hero team?'

DR. LIGHT: 'I'm the other Doctor Light.'

GUY GARDNER: 'You named yourself after a rapist? What kind of sick fuck are you? Why not just call yourself Doctor Rape?'

***
She's going to have to change her name.

Yes, there's a lot that's fucked-up about the above script. But I figure that it will go down swimmingly in a world where somebody gets praised for writing a story about Peter Parker offering Mary-Jane "rape dollars" and where Identity Crisis ever got greenlit.

Just remember folks, it's not puerile and demeaning- it's ADULT!

Monday, 11 December 2006

Aimless and Apathetic

I'm not sure where to start with this.

The last book I read was Virginia Woolf's 'To the Lighthouse', which is a bona fide classic and has the advantage of being almost incomprehensible. I can't stand reading her style for more than a few pages. My brain just won't stand for it. But that was a book I read for my University course and it probably doesn't count.

I don't read many comic books these days. I read a lot of webcomics, though. At some point I will review a few of the comics I bought back in the days when I spent half of my income on comics. OK, so I spent the rest of it on steak pasties and booze. A guy's got to have a few vices, after all. Most of the comics I bought were fairly crap Panini reprints of out-of-date Marvel and DC comics. I had to read a lot of dross when I was looking through that. Because I am an opinionated fanboy I will complain about these books and spout my views from my position on this soapbox. Not that there's anyone actually reading this, of course.

The last book I read of my own volition was Tom Holt's 'Earth, Air, Fire and Custard'. I hadn't read any of the other books in the series. I bought it from the Fantasy Book Club. I was curious. I have heard Tom Holt described as a great humorist, and I enjoy reading comic fantasy from authors such as Terry Pratchett and Robert Rankin. I was keen to expand my repertoire. I had high hopes of this book.

It's not very good.

The plot is hopelessly convoluted. Perhaps somebody who had read the other books would be able to cope. I didn't have a chance. And it isn't funny. It's not even slightly amusing. The dialogue is snappy, the situations in which the hapless lead finds himself are interestingly weird, but the book falls flat.

The main character, Paul is a generic everyman who works for a bizarre magical organisation staffed by goblins and sprites. He's not an original character by any means. He is just an ordinary, ugly loser who wishes he could be someone else. And then he is offered the opportunity to be someone else. It's a neat idea, and it works fairly well. Holt uses it to explore ideals of image and beauty. Paul becomes Phil Marlowe (wasn't he a Raymond Chandler detective?), an example of the condescending, pretty-boy male he would have despised before his transformation. Of course, it can't last forever, but the situation at least allows Holt to explore Paul's relationship with ex-girlfriend Sophie.

After that, one plot twist follows another until the reader is completely adrift and hasn't a clue what's going on. At least, that was the experience I had. It doesn't help that the book has a vast cast of supporting characters. Some of them, particularly the smug and bloodthirsty goblins, are arguably more interesting than the main characters. But after a few chapters, the vast cast became a hindrance. The flow of the narrative was constantly broken as I had to backtrack to find out who people were. It's not a hefty book compared with say, the most recent Harry Potter books, or anything by Robin Hobb, but so much is crammed into those 410 pages that it seemed much longer than it really was. Or maybe that was because the only reason I was reading after a while was a sense of obligation. Holt uses plot twists to ludicrous extremes in this book. He presents one idea as truth and then the next piece of exposition reveals that 'actually, this is what's real', and then the next is 'no, this is real'. Convoluted plots with multiple twists are a staple of many dramas and films these days, but for the most part the book gives no sign that it is mocking any genre conventions. Holt seems to be playing it almost straight. Rather a puzzler, that.

There are some surreal ideas mixed in with the narrative: there's an artificial element (Custard) that allows people to move through an artificial dimension, a talking fridge and a mysterious link between a woman and a sword. These, and loads of other bonkers ideas, constitute most of the plot. It's a messy, insane book, and most of the time it just didn't make a lot of sense to me.

Whenever I don't enjoy a comedy book I think that I may have missed the joke. However, I can't see what Holt was aiming for with this. It isn't funny enough to be surrealist comedy. The plot isn't as clever as he thinks it is. The book doesn't work as straightforward fantasy. If it is supposed to be satire, then it doesn't hit the targets hard enough. It teases the reader with mockery of the machiavellian machinations of a large corporation. It has one good point to make about the hypocrisy of environmentally-friendly liberals who suddenly come into money ("Actually... screw the environment"). But these anecdotes, and others like them, are tiny drops of poignancy in a desert of bewilderment. Satire is not the point of the book. Oh, you could make a case for it, saying that the bizarre and unwieldy plot is a post-modern mockery of... something. But all in all, it's a strange, disorderly hybrid that doesn't really accomplish anything. I suspect that Holt's motivation for writing the book was to see how much crap his readers would swallow. The real joke is that people were willing to buy it.

Verdict: 2/10

Friday, 8 December 2006

Cheap Shot!

It's a rule!

Have a shot glass ready, people! Yes, there are no depths I will not sink to in my attempts to build up a cult following.The rule is: Every time I make a cheap and obvious joke you take a shot. If I mock Michael Jackson, take a shot. If I make a joke about Pete Doherty’s coke habit, take a shot. If I add in a joke about David Blunkett’s affairs, take a shot. Every time I something vapid and obvious in an attempt to get a laugh, take a shot. C’mon, tell all your friends about this new drinking game. It is entirely possible that somebody else has already thought of this, but I swear that I haven’t heard of them.

(Double Posted on MURPG Board, in my previous 'taster'.)

What's in a name?

Oh, and by the way, my blog name is based on the classic sci-fi novella by Michael Moorcock. I could have lied and said the name was inspired by my love for comics and the caperings of masked superheroes within the books, with a double entendre on the word 'capers' because many superheroes wear capes. Yep, that's the kind of sparkling insight you can expect from yours truly. Derivative and profound, you might say.

Heh heh. MoorCock.

They'd never let me get away with that on proboards. I don't swear much, but every time I am unable to write the name of a common household pest; or the area in a plane in which the pilot sits, or when I cannot write the name of one of my favourite authors without it getting censored, it gets a bit wearing on the nerves.

Or in other words: FUCK YOU, LANGUAGE FILTER. YOU CAN KISS MY SCRAWNY ASS!!!

Back on topic: all the good blog names were taken, so I settled for this one, which only varies from the source by one letter. But, hey, at least I'm not ripping off Star Wars or Superman.

MURPG Board

I suppose I'd better post a link. Visit http://murpg.proboards19.com/index.cgi for fun times. Admittedly, you won't be able to tell what anyone is talking about, because hardly anyone knows the game that it is based around.

An explanation: a bunch of comic lovers with a lot of enthusiasm for Marvel Comics' diceless roleplaying game got together to create a forum of play-by-post games, discussions, rants, game conversations and (admittedly unsuccessful) attempts at selling comics. They're really a great bunch of people and I've had a lot of fun there. It allows me the chance to release my inner geek in the company of my peers. Over there, I feel I can unleash my inner fanboy to the benefit and not to the detriment of society.

Admittedly, quite a lot of the stuff of posted there varies from crap to fairly good. My own ongoing games suffer from my tendency to make things up as I go along (I planned out a lot of stuff beforehand and then lost confidence). Some of my own characters are fully-developed, three-dimensional parody engines that wander into the realm of Mary Sue-dom. And I've written some rants that reveal the deeply disturbed, teeming undersurface of my calm, cool exterior.

WARNING: There may be irony in anything or everything that I say. If you are allergic then please consult your doctor before reading this blog.

Still, everything I've written over there is a part of my history. It has helped me through my gestation period as a writer until I've become what I am today. I'll leave it to you my reader to decide what exactly I mean by that.

Manny signing off.

Introduction

Hi, I'm Rich, although I like to be known as Manny for reasons that shall remain hidden in the Black Library of the Cosmos. I'm a bored student with too much time on his hands. I've read too many bad comics and science fiction novels and I have a lot of pent-up repressed emotions. Well, what do you expect? I'm English, after all.

Most of the time I post on MURPG Board under my secret identity. I have sad fantasies of being a hero or at least writing a great novel.

What will I be blogging about? Erm. I'll talk mainly about comics. That seems like a good start. I may branch out into full-length reviews or I may do shameless plugs for attention. This blog shall be updated sporadically at best, and I don't currently have a scanner, so any pictures will be stolen from around the internet. Anyway, enjoy!